Published in Children’s Voice, Volume 34, Number 1.

by Christina L. Erickson

Spanking is one of the most common disciplinary practices that parents use. It’s easy, quick, and doesn’t require forethought or planning. For the most part, people in the United States accept spanking as part of what parents need to do to raise children. Fifty-six percent of adults in the United States strongly agree or agree that “…it is sometimes necessary to discipline a child with a good, hard spanking” (General Social Survey Data Explorer, 2024).

The percentage of adults who agree with that statement has been slowly dropping over the last several decades. That benefits all of us, since spanking’s negative influence on children has been documented in research since 1957 (Sears et al., 1957). Spanking causes an increase in antisocial behavior in kids which, as they age, can evolve into school failure, dating violence, and substance misuse (Heilmann et. al., 2021; Gershoff, 2002). Despite this research, many U.S. parents still believe that spanking is an easy and effective way to teach their kids. Spanking is a trickster in that way: It seems to work in the moment, the child stops the behavior, and the parent feels some justification in their use of force. But spanking’s effects are latent; they can manifest long after the spanking, meaning that the parent doesn’t connect the child’s negative behavior as they age to spankings that took place years earlier.

But is spanking good for parents? Doubtful. The momentary reduction in frustrating child behavior isn’t worth the consequences to parents either (Erickson, 2022). When parents spank, they don’t get to practice having difficult conversations. Good communication is a transferable skill, meaning that if a person learns something in one setting, they can often transfer that skill to another setting. Actively listening and having a conversation with a child will help parents have better communication skills at work and with their coparent. Listening to and speaking with a child about challenges, even when they are at a very young age, is the best way to make open communication part of that relationship for the rest of your life. Listening to a child untangle their emotions and their behaviors will help parents understand the dynamics of the parent-child relationship—and create new ways to forge strong bonds.

Hitting another person—even when it is socially sanctioned, like spanking—prompts stress. Parents may have lost their temper and coupled the spanking with making disparaging comments. Even if a parent kept their cool, they may worry about leaving an injury or causing a break in the parent-child bond. Parents spanking may unknowingly mask unspoken issues within the family and the parent-child interaction; the parent’s perception of “naughtiness” may delay identifying issues other issues such as difficulty communicating, struggling to follow directions, or even fatigue and hunger. Moreover, spanking is often the first physical punishment that parents try before they, often accidentally, cross over into abusive behavior. Spanking can be the gateway to child abuse (Nenia, n.d.).

Parents who hit their kids may be unaware that it also can influence their frustration level at work and in their adult relationships. Acting on feelings of frustration and anger, as opposed to calming oneself down, triggers additional stress levels—it doesn’t diminish them. What may feel cathartic in the moment may actually be recharging an angry, short-tempered internal battery that transfers into other parts of adults’ lives (Bandura, 1973). Practicing calm when with children will help adults be calmer in the workplace and in their other relationships.

Parents can practice their own leadership skills inside their family. Imagine you’re the CEO, leading your family to create a positive, growth-oriented culture. What do you want your family culture to look like? Identify it. Write those words down. Enforce it without hitting. You can still make sure that everyone follows the rules. You don’t lose power, respect, or influence when you don’t hit your kids; instead, you’ll gain their respect because they’ll see you as being strong without using force. And you’ll take those skills with you to benefit your other relationships, too.

 

Christina Erickson, PhD, LISW, is Associate Dean in the College of Nursing and Professional Disciplines at the University of North Dakota. Christina has been a social worker and professor for 30 years, with practice experiences across the human lifespan in community- based, nonprofit, and large medical and educational settings. Christina began her interest in family violence while working as a researcher on community-based peace-producing initiatives in Chicago, Illinois, and St. Paul, Minnesota. After feeling compelled to spank her own children, Christina started a ten-year journey to reveal the social and cultural underpinnings that support spanking. Christina hopes to help people see that the adults who spank children are also harmed. In 2022 her book Spanked: How Hitting Our Children is Harming Ourselves was published by Oxford University Press.

 

References

Bandura, A. (1973). Aggression: A social learning analysis. Prentice Hall.

Erickson, C.L. (2022). Spanked: How hitting our children is harming ourselves. Oxford University Press.

General Social Survey Data Explorer. (2024). Favor spanking to discipline child. NORC at the University of Chicago. https://gssdataexplorer. norc.org/variables/646/vshow

Gershoff, E. (2002). Corporal punishment by parents and associated child behaviors and experiences: A meta-analysis and theoretical review. Psychological Bulletin, 128, 530-579.

Heilmann, A., Mehay, A., Watt, R G., Kelly, Y., Durrant, J.E., van Turnhout, J., Gershoff, E.T., (2021). Physical punishment and child outcomes: a narrative review of prospective studies. Lancet, 398(10297), 355-364.

Nenia, K. (n.d.). Alternatives to spanking. Northern Illinois University Child Development and Family Center. https://www.chhs. niu.edu/child-center/resources/articles/alternatives-tospanking. shtml

Sears, R.R., Maccoby, E.C., & Levin, H. (1957). Patterns of childrearing. Row, Peterson.